As you walk into a new chapter with your significant other, it’s important to make sure you cover as much grounds as possible. Of course years together will bring knowing each other naturally but I believe doing most of your homework is the safest route to take. Sometimes love can blind us even in the midst of planning, and the excitement of the entire wedding celebration. As an engaged gal myself, and almost only 2 1/2 months left until I personally say I do, I thought about making a list of important topics to help you along the way to start your marriage stress free and smooth.
No, I’m not talking about throwing pots and pans at him. I’m talking about confrontation, those thoughts in your head that have been lingering, the insecurities, all of it. Let it out. Now is the time to stop being afraid of stating your opinion due to fear of “rocking the boat”. If you learn to hold thoughts inside, this can be detrimental for not only yourself but your relationship. I’m not saying have a full out fight, stay respectful but healthy arguments…well…are healthy. You’re as much as a human as your fiance, this is how you learn and grow. Stop trying to be perfect, your partner should know your thoughts, feelings and opinions. You will feel better and ultimately it will increase trust.
Traveling is an amazing way to get to know each other. How adventurous is your fiance? Are you both on the same speed as far as trying new things? Traveling together opens awesome meaningful conversations that lead to creating a patience for one another. These experiences leave huge marks on memories, I know for myself one of my favorite trips with my fiance was a road trip to Savannah. We chatted for about 5 hours in the car about literally everything, I even got to learn things I never knew! It doesn’t have to be an extravagant trip, it can be a road trip, a short flight or safari! Whatever it may be, traveling makes you appreciate your partner just the way they are.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Are you happy in your current? Are you ready to jump and make a dream career come true and start your own business? Your partner needs to understand your goals and what you’re working towards so that they can support you. Being single, most of the time you share these type of things with your parents, best friends or you may just keep them to yourself. Now that you have someone to share your life with, it’s important to fill them in on your aspirations. You never know, they may be a vital part in reaching your ultimate goal!
Ugh, money. What a topic. What is success mean to you? Is it having a ton of money in the bank, are you someone who saves and budget friendly? It’s important to know about each other depth, and money management. Are you sharing a bank account? Having a join? Keeping it separate? Don’t keep things questions for last minute, handle them now and let your transition be easy. Discuss your yearly income, what you need to pay each month and how the both of you can help support each other. This is a team effort.
So many of my girlfriends have told me how chatting about having kids with their significant other is completely terrifying. As if their other half would find out and run for the hills. Well gosh, if they do that, good riddance it was meant to be. You wouldn’t want to stay with someone who wasn’t on the same page. Talk about what family looks like to you. Both of you were likely brought up differently, with a different set of rules, manners and views. Talk about your fears and excitement about having children, how many would you like? Do you want any at all? Or maybe you want to adopt…or adopt cats. If becoming a mother has been a dream of yours, you have to express this. The kids talk is mandatory.
These two special words can be life changing, humbling and what grace is all about. Accountability to your own words and actions will reveal a mature character and a respect level for each other and the love and care you have for your relationship. Sometimes, an “I’m sorry” for even something that you felt maybe wasn’t necessary, for your fiance it may mean the world. The importance of apologizing and asking for forgiveness is pivotal. Keep your relationship and marriage to a place of safety and empathy.