June 18, 2019

What I Learned From BreakUps

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Hey there friend, it’s going to be ok

Breaking up with someone can be paralyzing, heartbreaking and down right confusing. Some of us know it’s coming and some of us get hit out of the blue from it, either way it hurts like heck. I’ve been there sister.

This is for you, for the newly brokenhearted, I feel your pain and your gut wrenching sadness that just makes you want to stay home, watch movies, eat ice-cream or heck, play some Kelly Clarkson super loud, been there! And let’s not forget about obsessing over the why did he say this or do that, ahhhh.

If you’re sitting here wondering if you’re ever going to heal from this break up, find someone new or fill in the blank, I hope you can find encouragement in your sadness. Here are a few things I learned from breakups and what God taught me!

My Timing VS God’s Timing

But, but buttttt… no more butts. It’s not about you, not about what you want or think you need, it’s what God wants. A lot of times we get blinded by love, it plays with our emotions. We think that it’s the perfect time to get married, settle down but little do we know that God see’s someone else for us, he wants us to slow down, to see his red flag but it’s our own doing that chooses to continue pursuing someone who isn’t for us. God wants you to allow him to take you on that journey, not have you forcefully control it.

I know it may seem like he was the ONE, don’t be impulsive emotionally with jumping to that conclusion. Trust in his timing, this is a test of faith for you. God protects you by making things not work out, he has the perfect plan for you. Take this time to work on that project you’ve always wanted to, that side biz, that new hobby, time with your friends and family…and swiftly but surely someone will come around on God’s clock.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven”.

You’re capable, beautiful, confident and ready to have a relationship once your entirely heal.

Let Him Pursue you Sister!

I’m not sure how much louder I can say this, let him pursue YOU ladies. Too many times I feel in this day and age, ladies are extremely independent, go- getters and know what they want. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, I myself don’t take “no” for an answer, try to do it all myself, start businesses, etc. You can say I may even have a lot of masculinity to my personality but when it comes to relationships and men, girl sit down. I mean that in the nicest way possible, don’t roll your eyes but I guess you’re allowed to because it’s definitely annoying to read because it’s the truth. Stop texting him first, responding immediately, calling him because you’re impatient and changing your life around to fit HIS schedule. He isn’t the prince, you’re the Queen…say it out loud “I’m a queen” and would a queen chase after her potential prince? NO.

In our generation, men are used to getting things fast, and that includes women. Be a woman who is filled with self worth, respect and grace. Portraying yourself as the defined woman that you are will place you in a completely different category that men are not used to or are hard to find. This will keep his attention and gain the respect that you deserve in courtship.

So let him text you, call you, make the plans, pick you up ( if you feel safe about it of course ). Setting the tone in the beginning will get you off to a nice start where he can pursue you, men are hunters and you’re the prize to win so put him to work. He can handle it. If he truly wants you, he will pursue. Simple as that. No games. It’s not complicated.

It’s ok to smile, even when it hurts like heck!

I was blind, now I can see!

Love can do some crazy things, like completely blind fold you from the reality of a person. It’s funny how we can place someone on a pedestal when wearing the “love goggles”. Even behavior we would never allow in our lives we suddenly become acceptable to! Listen to your friends and family, sometimes they can see clearly for you when you’re blinded. An unhealthy relationship will make you feel insecure, not good enough, filled with anxiety and turmoil. Were you stuck not knowing where your relationship was going? Yeah, been there too. It’s ok if you haven’t named your future babies yet but if you’re wondering if next month you’ll still be together or if his feelings are even genuine, you have every right to label that relationship as unstable. Communication is key, and the road to success leads the both of you going in the same direction not the opposite.

Conclusion

If something feels “off” you’re probably right, trust your gut. I want you to know that there’s a wonderful man out there for you, I know that it may be hard to grasp and believe but trust me your time is coming. Just to let you know, I became a young widow at 25 and it took me 8 years to meet my now husband Lucas, talk about learning a lot about dating and lot of patience. I know as women we tend to rush due to wanting to start a family, etc but trust me when I tell you. I’d rather be alone and happy than with someone who treats me terrible and raising a child in a horrible environment! Looking back I know with all of my heart everyone that I thought was the “one” was completely not and my husband Lucas is so God sent! PRAISE.

Have faith, and all the beautiful plans God has for you will come in perfect timing.

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